Family Ties

It seems that there's nothing new on news these days; just the same old stories about violence and wars. The situation in Gaza is getting worse (what a big surprise) and it seems there's not going to be an end for it in a good while now. People were murdered and all hell broke loose like every other day. No matter which way you look at it, news have become rather boring, all in all.



But there was one headline that caught my eye:
"A father stabbed his 3-year-old son"

This scene took place in Finland last Saturday when the 50-year-old father went for a ride with his 3-year-old son after a fight at home. They stopped in the city and the father stopped a driver who happened to be there, and he begged this person to call the police.

The police that got to the spot found the young boy in the car, stabbed badly. He was taken to the hospital and isn't in critical state anymore, but still shocked about what happened. The father was arrested after he confessed stabbing his son.



People can only speculate what went on in the fathers head when he decided to slash that blade at a small child of his own. His own blood, his own family. One must be desperate or in great deal of madness to confess such an act. I admit not to have children of my own, so I can only imagine the bond between parents and their childs. But the trust that a child gives to his parent is familiar to me and I have lived with that my whole life.

How can it not break after such news?

A father stabbed his son. A parent stabbed his offspring and no one truly knows why. This small 3-year-old boy was scarred for life, not only by the blade but the very deeds of his own father. The one man he trusted far above anyone else in the world he was but creating. At the age of 3 he was forced to understand the twisted nature of this thing we call "life". Where there is life, there is death. But for so young, death is still but a concept. But still, in their very mind, they know to fear it when the pain comes. They know what it is deep down inside.

One reason was stated in the news. Alcohol was involved to this incident. The father had been drinking. Now, to our good old friend, alcohol... Majority of the news told in the newspapers return to this taunting liquid too many peope have made friends with. Drunk driving, abuses on the influence of alcohol, even murders after enjoying it. This small liquid that people take to pass the time and make it a good one, turns people stupid. And not only that, I've come to notice. It turns them evil. Monsters. Killers.

The scary part is, nothing can be done for that. People keep on drinking and even doing drugs, no matter if they know the risks. People trust themselves enough to drink and then drive. They think they won't be stupid enough to sit behind the wheel, and when they eventually do that they won't be stupid enough to get into an accient. That's how it goes, no matter how badly people try to deny that.

And no, I don't drink. I believe the reasons are evident.

This is but one example of the many. Home violence keeps tearing this world apart and I find it amazing how people can still build up that trust between family members, reading on the news how these same bonds are broken each day. I call it hope. We want to hope it's not us. We want to hope that our family is different and will remain the trusthworthy supporter it has always been.

Keep hoping and building your trust towards those you love, but do not trust life, my friend. It has a bad habit of attacking you when you're not watching.

Who am I?

I don't consider myself "normal" by the standards ruling this world. Stereotypes, if you please. I'm not the kind of a person who worries about her looks, goes on buying make-up and spending hours to pick a dress for a party just to spend another 3 hours getting ready, still falling out of time. I'm not the type of a person who lives a life of sports to look good and feel good. I'm not the kind of a person who makes tons of friends from strangers, just to notice at some point that these friends have become strangers in the sea of friendship. I'm not the type of a person that people around me are.

I don't know whether I like that or not.

I know I am a kind person. I care for others and I get along with people quite well when I start talking with them. I might hate and loath the person in front of me, but I can smile and get along with them without telling them what I truly feel. I can't even harm spiders (and trust me, I hate spiders) because I know I'd feel bad afterwards, taking that small life. I'm the one who hates spiders but makes sure to rescue them outside.

But that's just one part of who I am. The other part of me is more subtle, more silent. I've been a shy person since I was a kid. I grew out of that and I can honestly say I'm not shy anymore but I'm still quiet. Especially if I'm thrown to a group of more than 1 person. I can't stand people, I can't stand groups. They keep yappering about things I don't find interesting, and before I know it my mind has gone somewhere else and I have no idea what they're saying.

And there's a twisted side of me that likes violence. I've grown up watching crime stories on the TV, read thrillers and detective stories, and written crime stories since I can remember. I love planning out crimes and putting them into words on paper. The more twisted a story is, the more twisted a character is, the more I like it. And yeah, I write this while watching the TV series "Dexter". Don't know what Dexter is? Trust me, you've missed a lot.

And then there's the emotionless side of me. After living with crimes and murders so strongly, watching and writing about them, I've become... ignorant towards death. I fear death and respect it greatly, but when I hear news about someone being murdered or a school shooting, I don't get shocked about it like others. I don't think about the families that get those news or the lifes that were affected. The first thing I think about is what drove the criminal to that act. What was so strong in their life to cause such an effect to their lives and actions.

But somehow, these sides are all balanced inside of me.

I don't know if the mind of the writer to think this way, but I know there's something twisted in my head and I kind of like that. I see such a wide part of this world in a way others around me don't, and I respect that possibility a lot. I know there are people like me out in the world, but they're extremely hard to be found because they hide in the shadows of silence like me.

In the end, this world is small. The longer our road is, the smaller everything starts to seem. And that is the life I fear. Starting to think about meaningless things like dozens of people around me.

I prefer to stay the way I am.

The Beginning

I've only been upon this world for 23 years. That's not a lot many would say but there's one positive thing I've come to understand through this life of mine:

This world has gone insane.

Wars break loose for the smallest of reasons, hatred blooms in each heart that we wouldn't believe it from and things keep changing fast; whether we want it to or not. Crime keeps growing by each day that passes by and it shows in the news. People get more twisted and daring when it comes to crime, and accidents keep on happening whether by nature or by human beings themselves. People are killed by other people, and that's too much alone if you ask me.

And the scariest thing is, there's no way we can stop that. I believe there is no such thing as a perfect world, not until human beings disappear. There's an evil part to every human lurking underneath our skins. I know I have; I'm the most kindest of person people can usually find unable to kill even insects without blaming myself for it, but there's a masochist living inside me who thinks everything two-mindedly (even pervertedly some might say) and I love crime series. I keep thinking in my head the perfect crime just for the fun of it, knowing I'd never have the heart to make it happen. It's just something to keep my mind in action, and I know it makes me a little bit of a bad person.

Some people might add religion to this, I know that. I know if it went to religion, I'd never get to Heaven. I'm a bit of a religious kind but Christianity has always been something I can't understand. I study it, I try to tie the million knots in the religion, but it doesn't make me a religious person. I mention this because I'm sure there will be a lot of religious content to my blog. That's mainly because of my interest towards Christianity and the many blanks and flaws in it. I am NOT trying to prove Christianity wrong; I'm trying to find a way to make it sound more possible. That's my mission so think about that before you start blaming me for the things I write.

This blog will mainly be about this world. Wars. Religion. Crime. These are just my thoughts about all the things that keep rotting this world that I was forced to live in. I tell you from the start; it might not be pretty and there may be some content people might find offencing. If you think you're from the softer side who might get offended by these topics, make sure not to check back. I will not make this pretty. I will speak my mind. I've been quiet for too long to keep it inside of me anymore.

This world is twisted, so I might as well be.